Healthy Relationship Quiz

A healthy relationship requires communication, honesty, trust, and respect from each partner. Equality and balance go hand-in-hand in a healthy relationship, where each dating partner recognizes and supports the other’s choices, individuality and beliefs.

In a healthy relationship, both partners take responsibility for their own happiness, never expecting their partner to make them happy.

So, how do you know if your relationship is healthy? All relationships exist on what we call the Relationship Spectrum. Each person’s behaviors range from healthy to abusive with unhealthy somewhere in the middle on this spectrum.

Everyone deserves to feel safe in their relationship. Take the quiz below to see if your relationship is healthy.

1. My partner gets extremely jealous or possessive.
2. My partner accuses me of flirting or cheating.
3. My partner constantly checks up on me by texting or calling all the time.
4. My partner tries to keep me from seeing or talking to my relatives or friends.
5. My partner encourages me to quit school or work, or asks me to stop participating in activities and hobbies.
6. My partner makes fun of my culture or spirituality and hurts my feelings.
7. My partner says or implies that I'm not Native enough or that I'm too Native.
8. My partner doesn't let me participate in my culture.
9. My partner manages all of our finances and controls how we spend money.
10. My partner has big mood swings. They can get angry and yell at me one minute, but then sweet and apologetic the next.
11. My partner yells, screams or humiliates me in front of others.
12. My partner makes me feel like I can't do anything right or they blame me for problems.
13. My partner breaks things or throws things to scare me.
14. My partner makes me feel nervous or like I'm "walking on eggshells."
15. My partner pressures or forces me to have sex or go further than I want.
16. My partner pressures me to take nude or sexually explicit photos.
17. My partner makes me feel bad for how I look and what I wear.
18. My partner grabs, pinches, pushes, shoves, chokes, punches, slaps, holds me down, throws things or hurts me in some way.
19. My partner threatens to hurt me, my relatives or children.
20. My partner says that they didn't mean to hurt me. It was an accident.
21. My partner threatens to harm themselves and blames me.
22. My partner acts like the abuse is no big deal, denies the abuse, or tells me "it’s your own fault" or "you deserved it."

You have checked boxes.

If you checked 0 boxes, it seems like you have a healthy relationship. Your relationship behaviors honor your relatives. Your ancestors would be proud.

If you checked 1-2 boxes, there might be some things in your relationship that are unhealthy or that make you uncomfortable. That doesn't necessarily mean these are warning signs of abuse. Keep an eye on these things and talk with your partner to make sure they don't become a pattern. Your concerns are valid. Open and honest communication is an important gift to each other and we can honor our ancestors by practicing it.

If you checked 3-4 boxes, you are likely experiencing some red flags of an abusive relationship. This can be difficult, but do not ignore these signs. All relationships take work, but healthy relationships don't include abuse. You are sacred and you have the right to a healthy relationship.

If you checked 5+ boxes, you may be in an abusive relationship. No one deserves to be abused and abuse rarely stops. The most important thing is your safety, consider making a safety plan. We are here to listen.

Quiz adapted from Love is Respect.